100 Days to Know
by stanatic77
Summary: BensonandStabler put the countdown idea out there. So picking up where we left off in series 4 Jane is using 100 days untill Casey's paperwork work has to be submitted to figure things out. Will she need that long? does she know what she really wants? Jane's thought processes in moving forwards.
1. Chapter 1

Rizzoli & Isles - 100 days to know

BensonandStabler's 100 day challange can't say I'll complete but here goes

I only own my imagination and not too sure about that - onwards

"Unless what?" asked Maura concern written all over her face.

"Unless I marry him!" Jane replied with more melencholy in her voice than happiness that her boyfriend had proposed.

"Let's go back to mine, you can tell me all about it." it's not an invitayion, not a question just a statement of fact. Jane just nods before going over to Casey to let him know her plans, a slight frown on his face but he understands Maura is Janes go to person and that's what she needs in that moment.

At Maura's

Having gotten a beer for Jane and a glass of wine for herself Maura takes her place next to her friend on the couch waiting for Jane to begin the conversation she'd been dreading.

"He did't even propose Maur!"

"I don't understand Jane I thought you said he'd go back unless you married him?"

"Presicely!" Jane exclaims, "a bloody ultimation. It's as if either way is good for him and he doesn't mind which I choose." During her speach Jane has got up and started to pace. Her movements stop when her rant does, standing in the middle of Maura's living room looking helplessly at her best friend.

"I don't know what you want me to say Jane?"

"Just tell me what you think!"

Taking a deep breath and looking at her hands Maura states quietly, "I think you deserve more Jane, so much more. You're better than this Jane, better than him."

"I'm scared Maur, what if I never find anything better than what I have with him?"

"But what if you do Jane?" then she adds in a whisper, "what if you have." Shaking that thought off Maura clears her throat, "When does he want your answer?"

"He has 100 days before he has to hand his paperwork in one way or the other, so 100 days I guess." Jane replies shrugging her shoulders.

"Then take your time, work it out, use those 100 days to be sure. Now it's been a long day, how about takeout and a movie?"

"That sounds great Maur, you always know what I need."

A/N _so the countdown begins. I know my spelling is crap so there's no need to tell me that if you wanna review_

Rach

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	2. Chapter 2

Rizzoli & Isles - 99

Jane opens her door to Casey, he gives her a peck on the cheek as he walks past, "So did Maura help you sort things out?" No 'Hi' or 'How are you' just that.

"Um, yeah, hi." It takes Jane a minute to get over casey's brash entrance. "yeah, sorry, we talked a few things out then had takeaway and a movie."

"Are you going to tell me what you worked out?" Casey was exasperated already, he thought it was like getting blood from a stone, and it came through in his tone.

"Give me a chance Casey, you just walked through the god damn door!"

"Sorry Jane it's just since I asked you, you've not really seemed excited."

Asked Jane thought, didn't sound much like a question to me.

"Yeah, it just took me by surprise thats all." Jane turned towards the kitchen, "You wanna drink?"

"Not just now, I've gotta head over to the centre in a bit." Casey paused briefly, "So?" he prompted.

"So," Jane wasn't sure how to put this, "You said you had 100 days," "99 now" he interjected. "Yeah 99, anyways I've never really considered marriage and stuff and you did kinda spring this on me and it'll be a big change for us both and I wanna make sure it's right for us both." Jane was rambling, tripping over her own words.

"Jane, calm down and take a breath ok."

Jane did as Casey said, "Ok, well talking things over with Maura, I've decided I wanna make the most of those 99 days, talk to people, work things out." and almost as an afterthought she added, "and of course spend time with you."

"I'm glad you rate me so highly." Casey joked and Jane managed a forced chuckle. "Anyway I think thats a great idea, take all the time you need I'm easy. I have to be going now."

"So soon?"

"Yeah things to do, people to see." and with that Casey gives Jane a chaste kiss and is out the door.

After a minute Jane goes a sits on her couch still in a daze from Casey's whirlwind visit. Using the visit towards her as 99 days to know she thinks: _Haven't his visits always been whirlwind, in for a few days then off again without a thought.  
Now he's taken the step of 'asking' he doesn't feel the need for greeting/pleasantries?  
He wasn't the first thing to spring to mind on my to do list, what does that say about us?  
Then he says he's 'easy', what does that mean? I mean I'm greatful he's not pushing but a little effort wouldn't hurt, would it?_

Mulling these things over Jane lifts Jo into her lap, stroking her behind her ears, "This is gonna be a long 99 days Jo!"

A/N_ Well I'm catching up on my days to go. There is not gonna be any case work in this just Jane working things out with those who love her *coughs Maura* I doubt any chapter will be that long just the snippets from the day that effect Jane's choice._

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	3. Chapter 3

Rizzoli & Isles - 98

On her way home after a reasonably quiet day Jane decides to call into the cafe to see her ma, "hey Ma, you got any plans for tonight?"

"Not really Janie, what the matter? Are you ok? Is there something wrong?" Angela always assuming the worst.

"Calm down Ma, can't a daughter just wanna spend some quality time with her Ma?"

"No!" comes Angela's sarcastic retort (Jane had to get her skills from somewhere, or someone). Jane rolls her eyes causing Angela to sigh, "Ok Janie, what time?"

"How about I head over to your's now and make a start on dinner?"

"Now I know something is wrong! Will Maura be joining us?"

"No, not tonight, just us." _Ok so Ma asks about Maura joining us but not Casey, I'll save that for later._

"Ok sweetie, I'm done in 30, I'll see you then." with that Angela heads into the back.

The Guesthouse

As Angela walks in a wonderful aroma hits her, she embraces her eldest and immediately starts gushing, "Oh Janie Im so proud of you, all this time I thought you weren't paying attention."

Indulging her mother Jane stays in the hug a little longer before she pulls back, "Just coz I don't cook, doesn't mean I can't. Of course I've listened and paid attention I just don't indulge, there doesn't seem to be a point in cooking for one."

Looking at her daughter as seeing her for the first time Angela's face softens, "You're not alone Janie, you vertually live with Maura, you could cook for her more often as a thank you."

Jane takes this in for a minute before turning back to the dinner, "You ready to eat Ma?"

They eat in relative silence, Angela watching Jane closely. Once they have tidied up Angela can't help herself, "What's bothering you Jane?" the concern evident in her voice.

Jane thinks for a few more minutes, "Why did you ask if Maura was joining us and not Casey?"

Angela looks at her as if it is obvious, "Maura is your constant," taking a beat to consider her next comment, "Charles is flighty, he's here then he's not."

Jane takes this in, "Is that why when you said I'm not alone you talked about Maura again?"

"What's all this about, tell me, please?"

Smiling Jane says, "I'm just trying to figure a few things out right now to see whats right for me."

This is the most open Angela has know her daughter to be in she doesn't know how long so she takes what she can and doesn't push for a change, "Well I'm here if you need me darling."

"Thanks Ma." Jane kisses her Ma goodbye, "I'm just say night to Maura and head home.

"Night Janie." Angela replys, "Thanks for dinner." Jane nods over her shoulder as she head out the door.

Jane doesn't make it to Maura's with everything her mother said running through her head she sits in her car: _flighty, I've always been happy that he's here then gone again, we don't have time to get on each others nerves. Does that mean we don't have time to get to know each other?  
Maura's my constant! We know each other, good and bad. We get on each others nerves occasionally but I can't think what it would be like to only see her for a week at a time every few months, I'm sure I wouldn't be happy to exist like that though._

Dragging herself out of her thoughts, "That's enough for 98 Jane, time to get some sleep." with that she starts her car and heads off towards her appartment.

**A/N ****_so we are now on the right day. I hope you are enjoying things so far. I know Angela can push Janes buttons but I think she knows when to stop occasionally.  
Anyway must feed the kids, until tomorrow._**

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	4. Chapter 4

Rizzoli & Isles - 97

Were as yesterday was fairly quiet, today had had the team run ragged. Jane was looking forward to a quiet evening to unwind ready to tackle the case with fresh eyes in the morning. Just as she was closing her computer down, Casey walked up to her desk leaning over to kiss her. Never one for PDA's Jane turned at the last minute so the kiss landed on her cheek. _You'd think he would have learnt by now_ Jane thinks to herself while Casey looks on with a quizical expression but soon gets over himself.

"Great, your still here, I'm gonna take you out and show you good time. I've got reservations for dinner, then we'll go on to a club." Casey states his plans for the evening. Jane sits at her desk trying to figure out how she can get out of this without hurting Casey's feelings, _I really don't need this right now, he didn't even ask, just assumed. I hate surprises._

What they hadn't noticed was Maura had also come up to see the detective before heading out. From the look on Janes face and knowing what sort of day she'd had Maura was 99% certain that Jane did not want a night out and came to her best friends rescue, "Are you ready Jane?" Casey turns at the Maura's question and Janes head shoots up with a relieved smile for her LLBFF. "Yeah, sorry Casey I already had plans with Maura for tonight. A quiet night some food, a drink and a movie I really need to relax after the day we've had but another night I promise Casey." Jane grabs her jacket, pecks Casey on the cheek then heads to the lift with Maura by her side. As they go to step into the lift Maura glances back at Casey the side of her mouth twitching up.

Once they were in the lift and out of earshot of the others Jane lets out a tired breath, "Thanks Maur."

"For what?"

"For being you, for knowing me."

Smiling fondly at her friend, "Yeah well I know how busy you've been today, then I heard what Casey had planned, " Maura shrugs, "I figured you'd just want a quiet night and you looked like you didn't know what to do so I just..." Maura trails off as if she suddenly realised she'd interfered, what if Jane hadn't wanted an excuse. Jane was watching her friend and could see her emotions running across her face but at that moment there was a ding as the doors opened into theparking garage.

Neither said anything untill they got into Maura's car and for once Jane didn't argue about driving. As they were setting off Maura spoke up, "I'm sorry if I interferred, you don't have to come over tonight."

"Maur it's ok I needed that, I needed you. I really didn't want to be out tonight and I couldn't think of anything better than takeout and a movie with my best friend."

A warmth spread though Maura as Jane said she needed her so she smiled and nodded, giving the road her full concentration. Jane smiled and turned to look out of the window getting lost in her thoughts:- _Maura gets me, knows what I need and when, you would have thought Casey would know that as well by now.  
Did I just ditch a night out with my...what...boyfriend? for a night curled up on the couch watching a movie with my...what...best friend?  
I'm too tired I'll think about this more tomorrow._

**A/N****_ well I am really enjoying this and have a vague idea where I want this to go.  
A quick heads up, weekend is family time (hubby works away so only get to see each other at weekends) plus it's Santa Parade this weekend so I may have to make up days on Monday xx_**

**_Rach_**


	5. Chapter 5

Rizzoli & Isles - 96

Well a good nights sleep and fresh eyes served their purpose and by early afternoon they had a lead, late afternoon they had a suspect and a warrant and by early evening they had a confession. With all the soul searching Jane was doing at the minute she thought now would be a good time to use some of backlogged days owed so before starting the paperwork to wrap this case up she went and knocked on Cavenaugh's door.

"Come!" was the short reply.

"Sir, can I speak to you for a minute?" there was slight hesitation in Jane's voice and this worried the lieutenant.

"Sure Rizzoli, what's up?"

"Well, as we have this case wrapped up I was wondering if I got the paperwork completed tonight if..." Jane was hesitant to go on, she never liked taking leave.

"Spit it out Rizzoli!" It had been a long couple of days and her boss was not in the mood for dallying around.

Jane took a deep breath, "Could I take a few personal days?" there she'd said it.

This really worried him so he took a more personel route, "It's rather short notice Jane."

"I know sir, I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important. I would be willing to take a full day then be on call for the other two?" she asked hopefully.

"Ok, I can work with that but Jane this isn't like you is everything alright?"

"That's what I'm using these days for, to sort a few things out, work out what I want, what my options are, you know all that deep heavy stuff." she tries to joke but her voice falls flat.

"Look Jane I know I'm your boss an all but I care about your mum, and you, so if I can help?" he lets the question hang.

Jane takes the risk, "Thanks Sean, that means a lot but this is something **_I_** have to do for **_me_**."

"Does this have anything to do with Casey being back by any chance?"

"Why would you ask that?"

Considering his words carefully, "You are never yourself when he's here Jane, you're not at your best."

"Out of curiosity, when am I at my best?" _I may as well get the bosses opinion to add to the list she thinks._

His answer is short and quick, "When you're with the Doc!"

"Thank you sir, I'll go get that paperwork finished. I'll see you in a couple of days." with that Jane went back to her desk she lets Frost and Korsak go saying she'll finish up but that she's taking a few days to herself.

Waiting for her computer to shut down after finishing the reports Jane thinks back to what her boss said earlier:-_He assumed Casey was the reason for me acting strange. Thought he was the cause of something being wrong. He thinks Casey changes me...and not for the better apparently.  
Then he thinks Maura brings out the best in me?  
It seems to always be Casey v. Maura  
When did Maura become part of the equasion?_

With her computer finally shut down Jane makes her way to the lift ready for home and hopeful that tomorrow may bring some answers.

**A/N first thanks for reading, although we may get a revalation there are still a lot of questions.**

**Second I have deleted my other stories, they were started when I was in a much darker place and I don't feel as though I want to go back there. I hope people can respect that.**

**Until tomorrow**


	6. Chapter 6

Rizzoli & Isles - 95

The relief of the alarm not going off was a welcome one for Jane and she enjoyed being able to take her time getting up. Her first job of the day was making sure she didn't get interupted so she sent text to Maura, Angela, Frankie and Casey, having done that the thought occured to her _Casey's was the last text I sent, surely he should be the most important, my first thought?  
Who did I tell first? Maura, it's always Maura._

Turning her phone off and putting some music on, "First things first," Jane said to her self, "this place is a mess, maybe if I tidy this part of my life it'll help with the rest of it."  
It took Jane most of the morning to get things sorted but when it was done she went into the kitchen in search of lunch. "And when she got there the cupboard was bare! Well Jo, fancy a walk to stock up on a few essentials?" Jane thought fresh air would be good, she'd do a big shop tomorrow and just get a couple of things for now.

The walk allowed her mind to wonder:-_ Casey's good with this sort of thing, the domestic stuff,it's not that I'm not it just seems I never have the time. Wait that's not true Jane, think of all the time you are at Maura's when you're not at work!  
Maybe this is something Casey and I would do together? Should we give it a try? Maybe a test run before we head down the mariage road? But then remember how I felt when he took over my kitchen! He did that himself, again with the surprises, it might be different if it was us doing it not him?_

Arriving at the shop stopped Jane quizzing herself. On her way back Jane decided to take in the sights and sounds of the city she loves and what makes Boston home.

The fresh air and food are just what Jane needed, "Right Jo, down to the serious stuff." taking a moment to think of the best way to go about getting her thoughts straight, "Ah ha! I know what I need...a murder board!" she turns to explain to Jo, "The one thing I'm really good at is being a cop so instead of suspects and victims I'll have positive and negative, infront of me, in black and white!" pleased with herself Jane suddenly heard a voice in the back of her mind, _"Nothing is ever black and white, Jane."_ _That sounded distinctly like Maura!_

**A/N ****_I am not gonna draw up the list as I feel that would be going over a lot of Jane thoughts so far in the story but we will see the benifits of the murder board in the next chapter._**

**_The only thing thats mine is my imagination and god knows where that goes sometimes._**

**_Hubby home this PM, santa parade in town tomorrow, kids optitions on Sunday, I will do best to keep up but if not I'll play catch up the beginning of the week xx_**


	7. Chapter 7

Rizzoli & Isles - 94

The murder board that Jane had come up with the day before had proved to be very incitefull. She had gone to bed with a much clearer mind and a plan for the day ahead. Before Jane put her plans into action she made sure she reported into her family to ensure she didn't get interupted during the day. The final message she sent was to Casey, _at least there is a good reason he's the last person I contacted today, _asking him to meet her for brunch so she could put her plan into action.

One of the main things Jane came to realise from the murder board was that thye didn't know each other. _Right we really need to have a heart to heart. Where? Not here, too easy to dodge. The Dirty Robber? Nope to much chance of interuptions. Somewhere quiet, where we can sit, really look at each other, talk to each other.  
Brunch would be good, not too early but no long wait to get worked up ot loose my nerve, yeah, good plan Rizzoli._

**At Brunch**

"Thanks for meeting me here, Casey."

"Of course Jane. Is this anything to do with yesterday?"

"Wow straight to the point, hey. But seriously, yeah, I've decided I need to take stock of whats going on in my life at the minute to work out what I really want. I wanna make sure that I make the right decision."

"And have you made that decision?"

"Not yet no. I've been taking a few thing into account and listened to what a few people around me think." Just as Jane is about to carry on their food arrives. After a few minutes of silence, Casey prompts, "You were saying..?"

"Yeah, sorry. Anyway I realised that we don't really know each other, the last time we spent more than a week together was back in High School. You're either here for a short time and we...well you know how we spend that time," blushing Jane continues, "and the rest of the time we talk via skype as and when and I don't think that is enoughof a foundation to build a lasting relationship on."

They eat the rest of their brunch with Casey mulling this over. "I think you're wrong Jane, we were meant to be. We are who we were Jane, I know you, I Love You. I'm the same guy you've always known Jane."

"How can you say that after all the time we never saw each other. The things we'd been through up until then and the things we've been through since?"

"That just makes us stronger versions of who we were Jane." Casey almost snaps, not believing how Jane can't see things his way.

Jane's quiet for a minute, _he really thinks he's right. So I should just agree with him? Why can't he even try to see my side? Is this how it's always gonna be, his way or no way? He really doesn't know me! _"Ok, but for my sake, how about we spend some time together doing run of the mill stuff, just to see? I really need to stock my kitchen, how about we try something as domestic as grocery shopping?"

"That sounds ridiculous Jane, but for you, sure." Casey stands and goes to the bar to pay the bill.

_How bloody pratronising can you get! Shit this may be a bad idea Rizzoli! Then again it's all insight, maybe it will go better than I think? "_Don't hold your breath!_" Maura's voice again, I'll have to have words about her popping into my internal dialog._

Casey comes up behind Jane looking to hold her hand but she automatically puts them in her pockets and starting for the door so he falls into step beside her, _don't touch the hands, rule 101._ _"_You let me touch your hands!_" Maura! I'm trying to have a private talk with myself, seriously? This is going to be an interesting afternoon._ The pair head to Janes car for their afternoon of domestic experiements.

_**A/N Well managed to sneak one in. Oh eck, can't type and watch Dr. Who at same time..**_  
_**see the results of shopping tomorrow or Monday TTFN**_


	8. Chapter 8

Rizzoli & Isles - 93

Yesterdays afternoon did not go as well as Jane would have liked so as she was sat at her breakfast bar:-_Well, what do I make of that?  
First off how bloody condasending can you get? All, I know you're wrong but I'll humour you till you see I'm right!  
Then my hands, he should know that I don't like anyone to touch my hands, "_hey_" Yes I know Maura I'll get to you later! I mean I don't mind if it's me taking his hand but that's different.  
He insisted on driving I know it's a small thing but asking would be nice, not telling. Then he puts the radio on and a changes station, it's my car, ask!  
Then the fun bit, shopping, 'no Jane I like this one!' 'This one is much better Jane!' 'You don't buy that do you?' Ah it's worse than shopping with Maura at least she only advises, gives me the information and lets me decide, even if she does do that cute pout when I still put all the sugar filled goodness in the cart anyway.  
After that I needed a break, I had planned on spending the evening together too but I knew if I did it wouldn't have gone well._

It's Jo that finally has Jane comeing out of her thoughts she realises she's been sat there almost a hour with her musing. "You wanna go for a walk, Jo? Just let me get me throw some clothes on and we'll be off." They go for a long walk fresh air always helps and once Jane is back, showered and had some lunch she decides to go back to her murder board.

"Well time to deal with that other voice in my head, Jo, here goes nothing:-

MAURA - _She's always here for me, with me  
She knows me, when to push, when to back off, what I like, what I don't and what I need. Know me better than Ma, Frankie, the guys at work. (Casey if you look at the evidense)  
She cares about me and for me  
I don't mind her touching my hands (actually I like it, it eases the ache)  
She's seen me at my lowest and doesn't judge, doesn't pity (Casey would, Casey does)  
She makes me feel better, lighter, more me  
She doesn't want me to change  
She makes me feel safe, at ease_

_She does nag about my eating habbits - but I don't really mind_  
_Casey nags about my eating habbits - it rubs me up the wrong way_

_Maura suggests and explains_  
_Casey says_

_Maura askes_  
_Casey says_

_Maura is home_  
_Casey is...a weekend away_

CONCLUSION

_Maura wants me  
Casey wants the me from school, the Jane he fell in love with_

OUTCOME

_I want..._

_**A/N Well this is yesterdays post, just catching up.  
Sorry to leave it on a bit of a cliffhanger - not really  
Jane's back to work in 92, could be fun who knows. I hope to have 92 up by the end of today.**_


	9. Chapter 9

**_A/N Bit of a long one_**

Rizzoli & Isles - 92

Jane showed up at Maura's having sent her a text the previous evening asking if she'd like to go for a run in the morning. Neither says much for a start but then Maura breaks the ice, "So did your days off help any?"

"Yeah, quite a lot actually, I don't think I'm gonna need all 100 days to know what I want."

It's quiet again for a few minutes before Maura prods further, "So are you gonna tell me more?"

"Not just yet, there are still a couple of things I need to think about but I'm almost their." Jane pauses and starts to jog on the spot, "Do you want to get a coffee?"

Maura seeing this as an opening agrees and they head to the nearest coffee shop. They have a little time before either has to be at work so they grab a table and have their coffee there. This time it's Jane who breaks the silence. "I made a murder board."

"Excuse me?"

"How bad does that sound, I made up a replica murder board to see if I loved the man that proposed to me."

Maura has to stifle a giggle. "I'm sorry Jane, I shouldn't laugh but that just sounds so ridiculous." and the giggle turns to a full on laugh that is infectious and has Jane joining in.

Once they have calmed down Jane continues, "Dispite how silly it sounds it worked for me, helped me get my thoughts straight."

"So you did come to a conclusion then?"

"Yes, but there are a few loose ends though."

"Like what?"

"Well I really need to speak to Casey, I'm meeting him for lunch but I'd like it if we could have dinner tonight, if you wanna come over, I'll even cook?" Maura raises her eyebrow, "What is it with you, first you invade my private conversations, then talk with your eyebrows!" laughs Jane

"What are you talking about Jane?"

"I'll explain tonight."

Still a little confused but trusting Jane Maura excepts this and they head back to get ready for work.

**Lunch time**

"I'm pleased we managed to have lunch, I really enjoyed the time we spent together the other day Jane."

"Yeah Casey."

Not giving her time to say what she wants to, "That simplicity of just spending time together made me realise how good we are."

"CASEY!" Jane raised her voice to get his attention, once he stopped and looked at her she continued, "that's just it Casey for me it just confirmed that we wouldn't work in a relationship like that."

"What are you saying Jane, of course we work."

Jane sighed, "No Casey, we don't, I just don't love you like that. The idea of my highschool sweetheart was great but thats the problem, we're not in highschool any more. The Jane you're in love with, isn't me and the more time we are together the more I see that. I'm sorry Casey but my answer is no." Leaning over Jane kisses him on the cheek, "I'm sorry Casey, take care." With that she gets up to return to work leaving Casey sat in a daze.

**Dinner**

Jane had cooked a wonderful dinner for Maura and herself and they had chatted while they ate but now they had finished and were heading to the couch Maura asked, "Can I see your murder board?"

_Help, what do I do? If she see the board she'll see what I've put about her. Yesterday I was sure, today, here now...Help._

"You don't have to if you don't want to."

"Thanks Maura, I think we need to talk first. The big thing is I gave Casey an answer today."

As Jane takes a breath Maura interjects, "I take it as you're not jumping for joy and flashing a ring you said no?"

"I said no. During all my musing, the internal conversations I had with my self, this voice kept interupting, it sounded an awful lot like you Maura." Jane has a light tone and a smile on her face so as to let Maura know it's not a bad thing, "and that was part of my reasoning aswell in the end."

"How do you mean Jane?"

"A lot of the time I was thinking about Casey, I would often end up compairing him to you." Jane replies a little shyly.

The fact that Jane had said no to Casey was enough for Maura but now this, her curiousity peaked. "Should I be pleased or upset by this?"

_That's the big question now._

"That all depends."

"On what?"

"On you. You were a big factor in my decision, from suggesting I take the time to just being you. I want to show you the murder board but it not only helped me with Casey it allowed me to look at other things, other people in my life, and I'm not sure how you'd feel about that?"

"Jane, you are the most important thing in my life, to be honest I'm pleased you said no to Casey and that I am here for you, I won't judge you and you know that you can trust me to always be here." Maura hoped that she had said enough in that to give Jane the push she needed.

Bringing Maura over to where the murder board was set up then Jane stood back while Maura took it all in. After a few minutes Maura turned to face Jane, "So what is the result?"

Taking a deep breath, "What I want is...you, if you'll have me?" Jane can't remember ever being this scared as she waited for Maura to say something.

"I think I'd like that," she smiled then took a deep breath of her own, "but I think today, well the last few days, have been every emotional for you Jane so I'm going to go to allow all this to sink in, for both of us and I'll see you tomorrow. Will you come for breakfast?" Jane just nods, Maura leans in and places a chaste kiss against her best friends lips then says, "Thank you for dinner." Maura then collects her things and leaves a dumbfounded Jane stood in her apartment with her fingers to her lips where Maura mouth had just been.

_**A/N Still lots to come,**_  
_**My husband enjoyed reminding me how bad my spelling is, I know this, he knows this and now you know this.**_  
_**Night all**_


	10. Chapter 10

Rizzoli & Isles - 91

Jane woke to her alarm the folowing morning. Coming to thoughts of the previous evening emerged through the sleep fog. A smile crept over Janes face:- _She's pleased about me saying no to Casey. She didn't freak at the murder board or the conclusion and best of all she seems open to the result. Life seems so much...more today._ With that thought Jane got up ready to go to breakfast at Maura's before going back to work :-_ Work, shit how's that gonna be? Living up to the rumours...doesn't seem to matter that much really...those that matter don't mind and those that mind don't matter._ This made Jane laugh to herself.

**Breakfast**

Jane was nervous stood outside of Maura's :- _What if she feels different this morning?What if you've scared her off Rizzoli? God what am I gonna do if this goes wrong, I can't loose my best friend._ Standing there lost in thought jane didn't notice Maura opening the door, she stood watching Jane for a couple of seconds before getting her attension, "Hi Jane." she says softly so as not to startle Jane too much.

"Hi" Jane says, her nerves showing in her voice as they go in and make straight to the kitchen.

"How long were you stood there Jane? Why didn't you just come in?"

"I'm not sure of either actually. I just got lost in thoughts...panicing actually that you'd see things differently with the light of day and that I'd ruined everything."

Walking up to stand infront of Jane and gently taking her face in her hands, "All the light of day has done has shown me how right I have been to believe in you and lucky I am that you are in my life, in my arms." With that Maura leans up and starts to kiss Jane, her hands leaving Jane's face getting lost in the mane.

_Definately did the right thing saying no _then all thoughts went blank as Maura's tounge slipped along Jane's lip asking for entrance.

_**A/N Hope you like.  
I am gonna try and keep this mainly to Janes musing/thought processes if I can as she progresses forward with Maura and the things this throws at Jane. And remember Casey has a while before his papers are due.**_

_**Rach xx**_


	11. Chapter 11

Rizzoli & Isles - 90

Jane had stayed over at Maura's that night, though they had just relaxed, watched a movie and had a drink. Both had agreed that although they had admitted how they felt towards each other it was too soon after what had happened with Casey to take things too far too soon. Jane had for a change woken early and was sitting in the kitchen with a coffee :- _I can't believe how easy things feel with Maura. After all the turmoil of Casey it is a welcome relief.  
I hope he doesn't go and do something stupid but my gut is sending out warning signals.  
Maybe it would be a good time to take a better break, a few days away, invite Maura to come with me.  
There must be something wrong I am thinking of taking time off work?  
Oh hell, not more questions, I'm not sure I can take anymore at the minute._

Jane was bought out of her musing when the back door open and Angela walked in, "Morning Janie, you're here early."

"Hi Ma, I stayed over, it was late when the movie finished and I'd had a couple of beers."

"I've not seen Charles for a couple of days, is everything alright?"

_Oh no, how much do I tell? Maybe just the casey bit? The rest I need to check with Maur. What's she gonna think, i bet she brings up the grandbabies thing. Deep breath Jane_, "Yeah, well about that, I thought long and hard and finally admitted that I didn't love him. I also think he was actually in love with High School Jane not me. So anyway we split up."

After a moments quiet Angela walks up next to Jane, _please don't flip please don't flip,_ she suddenly throws her arms around her daughter, "I'm so proud of you!" Jane pulls back looking at her mother in astonishment. _She really didn't like Charles._

_**A/N All I own is my imagination and I'm not always sure about that**_

_**Having tripped over earlier I amnow going to go and let the pain killers work their magic TTFN**_


	12. Chapter 12

Rizzoli & Isles - 89

Sitting at her desk Jane is sipping her coffee looking at her computer screen:-_ Maura liked the idea of some time away together.  
Do we jump into that immediately?  
Maybe a date might be a better place to start.  
Where would I take her?  
It's sorta like we've been daying for years what with movies, functions, theatre, meals in fancy restaurants.  
Hum there seems to be a bit of a theme to that list, namely Maura, does she have me that whipped already?  
Oh course she does, it's always been Maura you dumb ass Rizzoli.  
But I do think we need to go on a Jane date, just to even things up a little.  
God what if she doesn't like a me date? Nah, how can she resist the RIzzoli charm? May need to give it thought and planning though._

Having been lost in her thoughts of Maura Jane hadn't noticed Frost watching her, the emotions playing out on her face were quite entertaining.

"Jane?"

Nothing

"JANE?"

Not getting through

**"JANE!"**

"What is it Frost, there's no need to shout?"

"Well if you'd answered the first time I wouldn't have had to!" _Shit this is gonna lead to questions, what the hell do I tell him? Deep breath he may not ask._ "So what had you so lost in thought? Your face kept changing from smiles to frowns then chuckling!"

_Of course he asked, _"Urm, I was just thinking of planning a date." _There we go half truth should do it._

"So busy night planned with Casey huh?"

_Damn that right they don't know about that yet. Nice hole you're digging there Jane, time to stop before you can't get out. _"Follow me!"

"What Jane, where we going, I wanna hear about your date!"

_God this man's such a gossip. _"Just shut up and come with me, we're going down to see Maura."

"Fine." and Frost follows quietly.

When they get off the lift, "What here, I just have to check something before I tell you." Not giving Frost an option Jane disappears into Maura's office. In a hushed voice "Maura, I've kinda dug myself into a hole with Frost."

"Hello to you too Jane. What do you mean a hole?"

"Hi, sorry. I sorta got lost in thought about maybe taking you on a date and then when frost questioned me I tried a half truth, then he thought it was about Casey." as all this rushed out of Jan'e mouth she looked pleadingly at Maura.

"You want to take me on a date? Oh Jane I'd love to, when, where."

_God she's so sweet. Frost, hole, Jane pay attention! _"Yeah but right now Frost is waiting outside I just wanted to know if you'd be ok with saying I was planning a date with you, not Casey?"

"Of course Jane, do you want to do it in here, it's a bit more private than upstairs."

"That's what I thought. Thank you Maura." Smiling Jane steps over and lightly kisses her on the cheek before asking Frost into the office.

"Bout time I was gonna send a search party in for you."

"Sorry Barry that was my fault, I got a bit sidetracked." soothed Maura.

"Ok so, why all this fuss over a date with Casey?" He looks from one to the other, Maura just nods to Jane, so he looks back at his partner.

"The date's not with Casey, we broke up."

Before Jane can say anymore Frost interupts, "What do you mean broke up and you're planning a date with another bloke already?"

"If you'd let me finish, I turned him down, we weren't right together," Frost nodded there, "and it's not another bloke as you put it, I was planning a date with Maura," he was looking a bit vague so Jane moved closer to Maura, putting her arm around her she elaborates, "A first date."

Both women smile as they see recognition come to him, a huge grin breaks out on Frosts face as he throws his arms around the pair, "Finally!"

_**A/N May have an interim chapter before the date chapter.**_  
_**Sorry this didn't get posted yesterday but time just ran away from me. I'll try for another one later and do my best over weekend but family time is treasured.**_

_**Rach xx**_


	13. Chapter 13

Rizzoli & Isles - 88

Sat on her couch Jane is trying to work out where to take Maura on a date. She hadn't planned on asking her like she did yesterday but it couldn't be helped:- _yes it could Jane if you'd thought about what you were saying to Frost. We have told him to hold back on the gossip at least until we tell Ma, then everyone will know.  
She did seem really excited. Is that good or bad? I'm really excited, well I would be if I wasn't freaking out about where to take her.  
I need something that is me but that isn't going to be of no interest to Maura?  
Oh Oh Oh inspiration, Rizzoli you genius!_

Before her inner self could start its happy dance there was a knock on the door, _probably best dancing's not really my thing._ "Frankie, what are you doing here?"

"What? Can't a guy come and see his big sister?"

"I'm sorry, you wanna beer?"

"Yeah sure."

"Great they're in the fridge, grab me one, ta"

With beers in hands they sit on the couch, neither speaking for a minute but Frankie picking at the label on his bottle. "So Frost keeps asking questions about you and Casey?"

"And did you tell him?"

"Nothing, I don't know anything." he pauses, "so what is going on with you and Casey?"

_I should have known Frost is too much of an old woman, _"We split up. Well I said no to him and that I didn't love him, so yeah." _Should I be more upset? He was a big part of my life? But Maura is a bigger part._ That last thought bought a smile to her face.

"You don't seem all that upset. In fact you have that funny smile on your face the one that...oh"

"Oh what?" _I think my little bro may be a better detective than I give him credit for._

"Maura!" is all he says.

"What about her?"

"That's your Maura smile!" he accuses, "You've done it haven't you?" _That statement is sssooo wrong!_ "You've come to your senses," _phew that's better I was worried where he was going for a minute._ "Have you told her?"

"Yes that's my Maura smile." _I can't bring myself to deny it anymore but I'm gonna have some fun,_ "No we haven't done it yet." _god his face is a picture I wish I had a camera,_ "Yes I have come to my senses and yes I have told her. But I haven't told Ma yet, just that I broke up with Casey."

"Firstly ooh I did not need to know that Jane. Congratulations I'm proud of you," he reaches over to hug his big sister, "and you gotta tell Ma she is gonna be so thrilled!" A beat goes by, "You already told Frost, didn't you!" It's a statement more than a question.

_He really is a good cop but then what do you expect he's my little brother. _"I may have got caught out by him and had to admit it, it wasn't through choice."

"Fine," putting his now empty bottle on the coffee table, "I've gotta go, I really am pleased for you Jane and tell Ma! Soon. If she hears it from somebody other than you two your lives are gonna be a living hell!" And with that he was gone.

_Right, back to this date. We are off tomorrow so that will be perfect. We'll start with lunch"_

So Jane sends Maura a text with times and dress codes...

_**A/N Didn't want to give the date away just yet but hopefully it will be a nice mix of Jane & Maura.**_

_**TTFN**_


	14. Chapter 14

Rizzoli & Isles - 87

Standing outside Maura's door ready to pick her up for their first date:- _Why am I so nervous? This is Maura...ah there it is, it's MAURA!  
I was so sure about this earlier but what if she doesn't like it. I'm sure she'll like it. But what if she doesn't?  
Pull it together Rizzoli, it'll be fine it's got all the makings of a perfect date for us. Deep Breath._

When Maura answers the door, "Hi Jane, I'm really looking forward to this. Are you ready to go?" _She's gorgeous, why haven't I seen this before. All the time we've spent together, I could have been loving her. Wait a minute, you have been loving her you dozy...hell of a detective you are!_

"Jane?"

"JANE!"

"Sorry Maura, it's just you're so beautiful, I mean I know you've always been beautiful but it's different now some how and I was just wondering why I hadn't realised I'm in love with you before now." _Oh heck the L word, why drop that bomb, there goes the date. Over before it's started._ But looking up at Maura she's stood there her face aglow with the smile she's wearing and then she's leaning in kissing Jane and not just the chaste kisses they've had so far but a full on couple in love kiss. (One that doesn't go unnoticed by Angela)

"So Jane where are you taking me?"

"First we are going for a lunch, then I was trying to think of something that is a mix of both of us so I thought maybe we'd go to the sports museum at TD Garden?" Jane said hesitantly hoping that Maura would approve.

"Oh Jane, that's brilliant, I can't think why we haven't done that before!" she gushed before kissing Jane's cheek and turning to lock her door before Jane lead her to the car.

_Happy Dance, Happy Dance, go me, go me. Calm down Jane! Can't she kissed me and likes what I've planned. Happy Dance!_

_**A/N yeah back up to date (hubby went Xmas shopping so had sometime this afternoon).**_  
_**As I'm from UK I had a quick check to see if there was a sports museum, though it does show as closed at the minute I'm using artistic licence. I thought the idea of sport and history would make a perfect date for Jane & Maura but as this is more about Jane's thought process & emotions along with my lack of knowledge I'm not going into date details but we will get Jane's thoughts tomorrow xxx**_


	15. Chapter 15

Rizzoli & Isles - 86

Waking early the next morning, Jane can't believe how well her date with Maura went:- _success Jane, a nice balance of the both of us, well done me.  
I loved spending that time with Maura, I know we tend to spend most of our time together anyways but there was another level to it yesterday. A level I wanna get more of, it's like an addiction.  
Sensible head Jane, there is one thing or more one person that might be a problem.  
Rip the band-aid off!  
The sooner it's done the sooner you can feed your addiction.  
What if it goes wrong?  
Nope the right signs were there, trust the gut, it will be fine.  
Yeah, band-aid, right, here we go then._

With that boost of confidence Jane pulls out her phone first sending a text **TY 4 g8 d8. Inviting Ma & me 4 breakie CUS XOXO**

Then dialing Angela's number, "Hey Ma wanna meet me at Maura's for breakfast in 15 minutes? See you soon." With that Jane hung up not wanting an inquisition over the phone, she just hoped Maura would be able to fend her mother off till she got there.

**_Maura's kitchen_**

Maura had the coffee on the go ready, she knew it wouldn't take Angela long to come across and question her as to why Jane had invited her to breakfast, fortunately Jane hadn't said specifically so that left it open for her to deflect. Just at that moment the back door flew open and Angela came charging in, "Good morning Maura, how are you? do you know why Jane's asked us for breakfast? Is everything ok? You don't think she's changed her mind about Charles do you? He's not right for my baby, she deserved so much more."

Once Angela seemed to finish her bombardment of questions Maura smirked and tried to give some answers, "Good morning to you too Angela and no I don't know exactly why Jane asked for this breakfast but I'm sure if something was wrong she wouldn't have made us wait. As much as I don't like to guess I am pretty sure she hasn't changed her mind about Casey, and she deserves so much more. She is such a kind, giving, beautiful woman who has been through so much evil, she deserves to be loved and cherished and shown just how special she is."

Unbeknown to the two women in the kitchen, Jane had made good time with the traffic and had let herself in hearing the last part of Maura's speech:-_and that Jane is just what she does, she loves you.  
I love her too.  
By the look on Ma's face I think everything is gonna be fine.  
_Taking a moment before she makes her presence known, "That's the sweetest thing Maura, it's one of the things I love about you and I know for sure I'm gonna try my best to show you as much love as you show me." Jane has made her way over to Maura while talking, pulling her into her arms and placing a light kiss on her lips, all of sudden not caring that her Ma is right there.

"Janie, I'm so proud of you!" Angela squeals first pulling Jane into a hug and then Maura, "Maura, sweetie, you're gonna be a proper Rizzoli!" kissing on the forehead Angela takes a step back and starts pointing between the two women, "I still want grandbabies! Now who wants breakfast?"

_For all the grief she gives me, you gotta love her. right._


	16. Chapter 16

Rizzoli & Isles - 85

Sitting at her desk, supposedly doing paperwork:- _Finally life seems to be realising that it doesn't just have to keep throwing shit my way.  
It's nice to have something good going on in my life, and Maura is definitely that.  
Ma took the change better than I could ever expected but then this is Maura, who couldn't love her?  
Though I am surprised Ma isn't shouting it from the roof tops. I mean it's been over twenty-four hours and she has kept it to herself.  
Oh I bet she's planning something for family dinner, sneaky, I must ask Maura. I suppose it would be a good time but then again there's only a few who don't know.  
Speaking of which I think I'll treat Korsack to lunch. God I feel as nervous as when I was gonna tell Ma but he is the nearest thing I've got to a pop right now._

Pulling her phone out Jane text Maura: **Gonna treat Vince to lunch, fill him in, you wanna join us?**

Maura's reply came almost immediately: **Division One in ten? xoxo**

Jane: **xoxo**

Looking up from her phone she called across to her old partner, "hey pop how about I treat you to lunch, Frost will ok holding the fort, we'll just be downstairs."

"Pop indeed," he tutted light-heartedly, "sure Janie, what's the occasion?"

"That's for me to know."

Frost watches this and mouths, "you telling him?" Jane nods and follows Vince to the lifts. _How am I gonna do this, just spit it out? Go for causal and just slip it in? Show him? Maybe a bit of all, great Maura with a kiss,oh yeah I like that idea, and jump right in and tell him. So what if the rumour mill goes into overdrive, I love her._

Vince found it rather difficult to stay quiet during the ride down to the café but he could see the emotions playing across Jane's face and thought it best to let her get her thoughts straight, she obviously had something she wanted to tell him.

The detectives made it to the café before the ME and so went to get a table, just as they were about to sit Maura walked up to them, "Hey doc" Vince greeted

"Hello Vince," then turning and smiling at Jane, "hi Jane." Jane puts her arm around Maura's waist pulling her into her side and giving her a brief kiss, "Hi," then turning to a clearly shocked Korsack, "Maura and I have something to tell you."


	17. Chapter 17

Rizzoli & Isles - 84

Korsack had taken the news well yesterday:- _I'm so pleased that Korsack is ok with everything.  
Fancy saying to keep professional at work, he does know we are talking about Maura Isles here, right?  
Though it might be fun... Sorry got sidetracked there, behave Rizzoli, Maura might be professional, I'm not promising anything.  
Though that idea of having some time just us while this is still so new would be nice. Yeah that's a plan Jane, a week away from everything. First things first, I need to arrange things with Cavanaugh, see if I can surprise Maura._

Decision made Jane makes her way to the bosses office, knocking and waiting to be invited in.

"What is it Rizzoli, come to ask for more time off?" he asks without looking up. The silence however causes him to raise his head from his desk, "Jane?"

"Not immediately but as soon as possible, I'd also like to ask the Dr Isles be given the same week but if possible not told about it?"

"Ok Jane, whats going on you never use your leave? You've just taken some days and now you're asking for another week, along with Dr Isles."

Jane wonders what would be the best way to explain with but decides the whole truth would be best. "Well sir as you know I took the previous days to sort a few things out, which I did and its lead to a few changes in my life. I turned Casey's proposal down as I realised that I was actually in love with Maura. We will keep work and home separate, well except for Ma but she is a law unto herself." This comment caused Cavanaugh to chuckle. "Anyway I would like for Maura and I to take a week off together, go somewhere with no work, no family just us." Letting out a big sigh Jane finally get to the end of her speech.

"Firstly congratulations for finally coming to your senses Jane. Second I'm glad you know to keep you personal lives private, with the exception of Angela. Finally give me some time and I will look into getting you two some time to yourselves, now get back to work." he finishes a huge grin on his face.

Going back to her desk:-_Seems everybody knew about Maura & Me except Maura & Me, well maybe more Me anyways.  
It's good to know Cav's ok with it, that could have been a major problem.  
I'm impressed Ma hadn't said anything to him, unless he's a very good actor.  
Now where to whisk my woman, (yeah still can get head round that), focus Jane! Where can I take her?_

_**A/N I know not that much happened here just more of a set up for things to come - enjoy.**_

_**Be happy, be healthy**_

_**TTFN**_


	18. Chapter 18

Rizzoli & Isles - 83

Sitting in her bed, supposedly deciding what to wear to family dinner:- _God, our first family dinner as a couple, happy dance.  
What are you talking about Rizzoli you two are always at family dinner together! (Casey never made it to one, never felt the need to have him there, he wasn't family, Maura's always has been.)  
But now I can hold her hand, not have to brush against her by accident, happy dance.  
Though this is the first since I figured things out so where did that just come from?  
Oh who am I kidding? Well as I am your subconscious, NOT me!_

**Maura's House**

Just before dessert is served Jane leans over to Maura and whispers, "Apart from Ma's little toast earlier I think this has gone well."

"Yeah, I was expecting..." Just then the doorbell rang, "...not that" Maura finishes as she heads to the door, trailing her hand over Jane's shoulders as she walks past. _God I love her touch. Wait who the hell would interrupt at this time of the day?_

Jane's thoughts were soon answered when she heard a voice full of anger drifting through the house. "Is she here!" A demand rather than a question as Casey barges his way past Maura. _Shit, seems he has made it to a family dinner after all. Focus Jane!_ Before Maura has a chance to answer, Frankie is there blocking his path, "Leave! Now! You are not welcome here Casey!" Maura and Jane look at Frankie full of pride.

"Get outta my way Frankie, this is nothing to do with You!" Jane is about in jump into the fray with her little brother when everyone is silenced.

"CHARLES JONES!" Angela raises her voice, leaving no doubt in any of her children's, including Maura's, mind that she was now in charge of the situation. _I almost feel sorry for him, I know what Ma's like when she uses that voice, no wonder I'm so good in interrogation, I mean who would mess with that?_ The Rizzoli siblings part to reveal the wrath of Angela. "You have messed with my Janie one to many times young man! I am just sorry it has taken her so long to see what we all knew and that is Maura is her true love and you, well I didn't realise that you were stupid enough to firstly not see it and secondly to think you had a chance of coming between them. Now I suggest you leave as this house is full of law enforcement and a doctor who could do you unthinkable damage. GOODBYE!" With that she turns round and heads back to her well deserved seat at the head of the table while Frankie escorts a speechless Casey out.

Jane takes Maura in her arms, "I love you." she declares.

"I love your mum." both with huge grins on their faces, they go back and join Angela and Frankie at the table.

_**A/N Couldn't have Casey leave all nice with no come back earlier, who knows he may even be stupid enough to try again.  
(ASDA's free wifi is pants!)  
It's gloomy, cold, windy and wet, I may stick to reading & writing today.  
Thanks for all follows, fav's and your kind reviews xx**_


	19. Chapter 19

Rizzoli & Isles - 82

Laying in bed:-_What a night! What the hell did Casey think he was playing at? Did he think him barging in all testosterone (oh god she's rubbing off on me, happy dance) would make me fall into his arms. Ma was right he really must be stupid, how did I not see that?  
Speaking of Ma, she rocks...sometimes...when she's not all hovery (is that even a word?) where's Maura when I need her? Oh! I know, curled up fast asleep next to me, happy dance!  
This has got to be the best feeling, well one of them, waking up with Maura in my arms, I would move heaven and earth for this beautiful woman, I know life is gonna be fine while she is by my side. Damn Rizzoli, you're getting sappy! Who cares I'm happy. _Just then the alarm goes off. _Scrap that I was happy but now we have to move, and get up, and be dressed and be around other people. Hopefully I'll get to know when we can have that time off then we can be alone and naked all the time._

A sleepy voice invades Jane's thoughts, "What are you smirking at?"

"Nothing, I was just thinking about how Ma put Casey in his place." _It's not a complete lie but I don't wanna spoil the surprise._

"It was quite the spectacle, we must tell Barry and Vince."

"I'm sure either Ma or Frankie will have got to them before we do. Come on we better get up. You wanna shower...with me?"

**Sat at her desk**

_This paperwork is boring, I could be with Maura right now. Maybe I could go down for a bit, take her a coffee, keep her company. She must be lonely down there, all by herself?_

Just as Jane was getting ready to head down to see Maura, "Rizzoli! My office, now!"

"What you done now Janie?" asks Korsack.

"Wouldn't you like to know old man." she cheerfully bantered back before heading into the office.

"Take a seat." Jane sits and waits for him to continue. "I've had a look at rota's for both here and the morgue and I've OK'd it for the two of you to have next week off."

"Thank you sir I really appreciate it."

"Yeah, yeah. I heard you had an unexpected visitor at family dinner."

Jane laughs _I knew she wouldn't be able to keep quiet I wonder how long it took her to tell? No scrap that idea I don't wanna know just in case._ "Yeah but he was met with the full force of Angela Rizzoli! I almost felt sorry for him but it didn't last long. She is a spectacle to behold when she's protective."

"Yeah, I knew you had to get it from somewhere. Now get back out there and get some work done else it will be twice as bad once you've had a week off."

"Yes sir, and thanks again." With that Jane left to return to her desk.

"I didn't hear any shouting, so you still got you're badge Janie?" jokes Korsack as she sits down.

"Yeah, you're stuck with a while longer. We were just discussing the force of nature that is Ma." _Should I tell them about the leave? Maybe give it a couple of days, less chance of Maura finding out. Yeah, I'll tell them in a day or two, once I've got it all sorted._ With that in mind Jane buckles down to get caught up on paperwork so that her desk will be clear for her leave.

_**A/N So this gives me a few days to find out where jane is gonna take Maura. Any suggestion would be appreciated as I'm UK and have no knowledge of the area so any help would be good.**_  
_**Just to brag my little girl completed her Anti-Bullying Ambassador course for her school today and was 1 of 5 out of 250 that got a special certificate for Ambassadors of the day - very proud mum.**_

_**Rach**_


	20. Chapter 20

Rizzoli & Isles - 81

To avoid spoiling the surprise Jane spends the evening at her place doing some research for their getaway:- _I know it's a little cliché but Provincetown looks good.  
There's stuff to do in case we wanna go out, not if I can help it, if I get my way room service will be a must.  
Right site found, type in location, dates, number of people - two, number of rooms - 1 Happy Dance! Oh right there's no-one else here I can actually do a happy dance._ Jane happy dances to the kitchen and back getting a beer in the process.  
_Back to business, additional search criteria_

_phone N_  
_voicemail N_  
_full breakfast Y_  
_box fan N_  
_housekeeping N_  
_private bath __**Y**_  
_air con Y_  
_pets N_  
_stereo Y_  
_parking Y_  
_continental_  
_breakfast Y_  
_water view Y_  
_private _  
_entrance Y  
hot tub __**Y  
**__wifi Y  
DVD N  
whirlpool tub __**Y  
**__TV Y_

_And search..._

While the search is going on there is a knock at the door, "Maura! What are you doing here?"

"I got lonely, thought I'd gatecrash your evening. Are you going to invite me in or shall I just stand here all night?"

Standing aside, "Sure, yeah sorry. Just give me a minute." Racing through to close her laptop:- _She's gonna see, she's gonna see.  
Thank god she didn't see, now if we can just avoid questions._

"What were you doing Jane?" _Yep here she goes with the questions. You can bluff your way outta this Rizzoli! Who are you kidding you know you can get anything past Maura. You can try though._

"Urm I was just looking up a couple of things, that's all."

"Why don't you tell me, maybe I can help? You are always calling me your googlemouth."

_Yep, how are you gonna play this_ Rizzoli. "It's ok, I think it's sorted now."

"You think? Come on Jane play nice and share."

_Oh no she's making those eyes at me, she knows I can't resist those eyes, that evil woman! _"Urm I may have been looking into somewhere to go...together...to get away from life for a bit."

"Oh Jane, that sounds like a lovely idea. Let me know when you wanna go and I will sort the time off and get some cover in." Jane is quiet and fiddling with her hands. "Jane, what aren't you telling me?"

"Well I may have already cleared things with Cavanaugh to get both of us the time off." _So much for surprising her, this is not how it was meant to go Rizzoli. Though you could keep the location a surprise, happy dance, nice save Jane._

"Oh Jane that's a wonderful surprise but I take it I wasn't meant to find out just yet was I?" Jane just shakes her head. "I tell you what, don't tell me where we're going so it will still be a surprise."

After taking Maura in her arms and kissing her Jane asks, "You wanna greatcrash my evening a bit more.


	21. Chapter 21

Rizzoli & Isles - 80

_I can't wait for next week, I'm so pleased Maura likes the idea, happy dance, I've done something right, go me._  
_Spending the night with Maura is amazing, it just feels so right being wrapped up in her._  
_God it's stuffy in here, bet it's nice and cool in the morgue but I really don't feel like hanging out with stiffs._  
_us with something and we could go to the park, yeah that's sounds good, fresh air, food and a beautiful ME._  
_First things first text Ma._

**Ma wanna take M. 4 picnic lunch in park, can u help. J**

_Second, clear it with Frost._

"Frost are you ok to hold the fort, I wanna take Maura for lunch." _God did I just say that, please don't comment._

Although he has a smirk on his face, "Sure but you better bring me something nice when you come back!"

"Thanks partner."

_Last but by no means least, Maura. Think I'll ask her face to face, not text._

"Hey Maur, you ok to take a lunch break?"

"Sure Jane, you want something down here or do you wanna go up to division one?"

"Neither, I fancied some fresh air, Ma's gonna put some bits together, I thought we could go to the park?" Jane's voice was nervous and hopeful at the same time. _Please say yes, please say yes._

"That sounds splendid, it will be great to get outta here for a bit."

Walking in the park, holding hands, the cares of the day blowing away with the breeze. _I can't believe, we here together.  
I thought I'd feel strange, out in public, showing my feelings.  
I never liked as much as holding hands with Casey, or anyone else, but here, now, with Maura I've got my arm round her and right now I just wanna kiss her. Duh Jane, you can kiss her, I will kiss her._

It was just a brief kiss as they were walking along but both knew the enormity of the PDA. More surprising though, it carried on through the whole lunch, the closeness, the touches, the light kisses. _I could definitely get used to this._


	22. Chapter 22

Rizzoli & Isles - 79

With work finished for the day Jane was heading going over to Maura's:-_It was so nice just spending that time with Maur yesterday.  
I didn't think I'd be so comfy being out, no pun, in public.  
The things this woman makes me feel. I can't wait to be with her. You just saw her 30 minutes ago Rizzoli! You're turning into mush._

At Maura's

"It's a nice evening Maur, you fancy sitting out back, maybe a glass of wine?"

"That sounds lovely, but did I hear correctly, the great beer drinking detective Rizzoli asked for wine?"

"Yes Dr Isles, but if that's how you're gonna be then maybe I should just go."

"No no Jane it's fine, I was just..." Maura stopped as she saw the look on Jane's face while she was trying not to laugh. Maura just shakes her head and goes to turn round when Jane grabs her from behind encasing her in her arms.

"Why don't you get the wine and a blanket, I'll light the wood burner." Jane whispers, kisses Maura on the cheek and then playfully slaps her bottom as she heads out back to set the wood burner up. :-_If this goes to plan this should be a delightful evening.  
You're getting all mushy again Jane!  
Don't care I'm happy, now where was I? Oh yes, wood burner = heat & a nice glow.  
Wine to set the mood, blankets for comfort. Do we need more? Yeah get some cushion, make a whole night of it.  
What about food, oh I know something light maybe a platter I'm sure Maur will have the stuff in her fridge._

"Jane, where do you want these?"

"Can you just set them down for now, I was thinking as it's such a clear night, we could get some cushions too, make a platter, some cheese, biscuits, fruit etc and spend the night snuggled up under the stars?"

The grin on Maura's face lights up the night "Oh Jane that sounds wonderful, you get the cushions, I'll start on the food."

With that Jane virtually skips into the house :-_Happy dance!_


	23. Chapter 23

Rizzoli & Isles - 78

Rousing up slowly Maura snuggled closer into Jane only to hear a few minutes later, "Girls, girls, I've got you some coffee and breakfast will be ready in a few minutes."

Jane grunts in response, pulling Maura closer she whispers, "What's Ma doing in your room, does she not have boundaries?"_ I thought I'd made it past Ma barging in on me like this..._

"We're not in my room Jane, we fell asleep under the stars." This causes Jane to actually open her eyes and take in her surroundings.

"I'm sorry Maura, I should never have let us sleep out here." _Though how romantic can you get falling asleep in each others arms beneath the stars._

"Don't apologise Jane, with the blankets and wood burner we were warm enough, and comfy enough else we wouldn't have slept as well as we did."

_God she's beautiful in the mornings.  
Especially with the early morning light like this.  
I could spend the whole day like this.  
You can soon Rizzoli, you'll soon have a whole week of Maura all to yourself.  
No Ma to interrupt.  
Oh it sounds like bliss._

Maura watches Jane while she's thinking, loving how her face is so much more relaxed making her even more gorgeous. "Come on Jane let's go get some breakfast." Maura smiles as she gets up.

Entering the kitchen they are greeted with a delicious smell and a slightly guilty looking Angela. "Ma what have you been up to?"

"Jane! I've not done anything...much." turning to look at Maura, "I hope you don't mind but I borrowed your printer earlier, I hope that's ok?"

"That's fine, Angela. Did you get everything you needed?" Maura a little curious as to what Angela would be printing at that time of day.

_Oh no, now what's she done?  
I've seen that look before.  
She's been meddling, I just know it._

"Actually I did. Here I thought you'd like a copy of this."

_I knew it.  
She just can't leave it alone.  
If this is about babies I swear..._

Jane's thoughts were interrupted by what her Ma gave to her girlfriend. There in Maura's hand was a wonderful picture of the two of them from what must have been the early hours of the morning.

"Ma, that's lovely. What time were you up to take that."

"I'd seen the two of you set this up last night, then when I had to get up early to answer the call of nature and you were still out there, The pair of looked so peaceful in each others arms I just had to take a picture."

Jane goes up to her Ma and wraps her in a tight hug with a whispered thanks.

_Sometimes she is full of surprises.  
That really is a lovely photo.  
Finally it seems life is being nice for a change.  
How luck am I. Happy dance!_

**_A/N All I own is my imagination  
Thanks for all the support, follows, Fav's and kind reviews.  
I will hopefully make the numbers up tomorrow, kids things are going mad with Xmas, school things, Beavers things. Brownie things, tennis things, dancing things. Life would be dull without my lovely kiddies._**

**_TTFN  
Rach_**


	24. Chapter 24

Rizzoli & Isles - 78

In Jane's apartment:-_I can't believe we are actually going away together tomorrow.  
A whole week to ourselves.  
What the hell do I take with me?  
Not a lot if I have my way, Happy dance.  
I have no decent clothes. Wait a minute Rizzoli, since when did you care about your wardrobe?  
Since Maura!  
Maura's been in your life for years, why worry now?  
Oh yeah coz you've finally figured out you're in love with her!  
I can't believe that realisation is changing me so much.  
I don't feel the need to be at work all the time.  
I'm worrying about my clothes.  
I'm not worried what people think.  
but best of all, I'm happy.  
Maybe I'll make Maura happy and she can take me clothes shopping.  
Even the thought of shopping doesn't bother me. Well not as much._

There is a knock at the door._ Now that bothers me, I wanna get packed so I can get to see my girlfriend, bloody_ interruptions.

Yanking the door open without looking, "What?!" When she finally does look up, this is the last person she expects to see.

"Jane, I know what was said the other night but can we just talk about this?"

"No Casey, there's nothing to talk about can't you get that. I don't love you, I'm in love with Maura!" _God it feels good just to say that, I love Maura, I love Maura. JANE! Concentrate, Casey's still stood there.  
Yeah right._

"But Ja..."

"No buts Casey, now leave, if you come near either Maura or myself_ she'd be so proud of my grammar_ I will have action taken against you." With that Jane shut the door in his face.

_He just doesn't know when to quit.  
He better not go near Maura.  
What if he thinks he can get to her while I'm here?  
I better let her know then get over there._

Abusing her powers slightly Jane uses the lights and siren to get to Maura's as quickly as possible. Pulling up onto the drive she is relieved to find no sign of her ex. Still wanting proof she charges in the door, "MAURA!"

"I'm in here Jane." Maura shouts from her room.

Drawn to her voice, Jane goes to her girlfriend and pulls her into a tight hug. "I hate being away from you." she whispers in Maura's hair.

_Thank god she's ok.  
I may be getting a tad over protective. Can't help that I love her.  
Maybe if this week goes well I might suggest we move in together.  
Too soon Jane!  
It's been years!  
That was only friends.  
Was it really?  
No, not really.  
Too much times been wasted, if this week goes well I'll definitely ask. Happy dance._


	25. Chapter 25

Rizzoli & Isles - 76

With their bags loaded in Maura's car, the pair make an early start on their journey.

"Are you going to tell me anything about this trip Jane?"

"Nope! You just sit back and relax."

_God I hope I've done the right thing with this trip.  
I'm sure it'll be fine  
There's plenty for her to do if things don't go as expected.  
How can they not go well, she loves you, you love her. Happy dance.  
It will be fine._

The couple were happy with the peace on the journey but as they neared their destination, "Are we going to Provincetown Jane? I've always wanted to visit there it's just something I've never gotten around to."

"Yep, I've booked us into a hotel. I'm so glad you're pleased, I started to wonder if I'd chosen the right place."

"It's perfect Jane."

"We can't check in until later so I thought we could have a wander round and find somewhere to have a spot of lunch."

"I could think of anything better or anyone I'd rather be with."

_You're not so bad at this romance stuff Rizzoli!  
She's happy to be here.  
Happy to be with me.  
Happy dance._

**_A/N Just a short filler. As it's mainly Jane's thoughts/thought process on a daily basis, now she's sorted Casey chapters may not be as long. I'll try to keep it good though._**

**_Rach xx_**


	26. Chapter 26

Rizzoli & Isles - 75

Waking up:- _God this bed is almost as comfy as ours.  
Did I just say ours?  
I meant Maura's.  
Who are you Kidding Rizzoli you meant ours! You plan on asking her about moving in, definitely ours.  
I suppose it does have one thing in common, Maura.  
If possible she's even more beautiful when she's asleep.  
Anyways what shall we do today?  
There's plenty to see but I think that can wait.  
I really wanna try out that bath with all its gadgets.  
Then there's the room service, the menu looks good and really needs_ testing.

"What are you thinking about Jane?" Maura asks sleepily.

Bending down to kiss her good morning, "I was just thinking about what we could do today, I didn't mean to disturb you."

"It's not a problem, so what did you come up with?"

"I thought we could test some of the facilities here. Maybe that very nice looking bath and sample what the room service in like?"

"That sounds delightful, I've got some oils with me, they are just the thing to go with the bath," and with a sly grin Maura adds, "and maybe a massage, we don't want to be sore later, do we?"

Jane just nods: _God this woman is gonna be the death of me..  
Way better than taking a bullet though.  
_Jane's face suddenly turns serious as Maura is watching her._  
What if I did take a bullet?  
I know how I feel anytime Maura is in the slightest danger, does she feel the same?  
Maybe even worse as I'm the cop, there's more chance?  
What would I do? Could I survive?_

"Jane?" pause, "Jane!" pause, "JANE!"

Jane snaps out of her thoughts, "Sorry Maura, I got a bit lost for a minute there."

"Is everything ok, you suddenly went very serious?"

"Yeah, it's fine, something for another time." _I need to figure this out, but later, I'm not gonna spoil this week._ "It's real world stuff, we'll talk about it when we get back."

Not wanting to push Maura stands up and asks, "How about we try that tub and then maybe room service?" putting her hand out to pull Jane up with her before they head to the en-suite.


	27. Chapter 27

Rizzoli & Isles - 74

_Day two and she's already got me out of our room.  
I had planned on spending longer there but I can never say no.  
And it is lovely here.  
And how can I complain, here I am walking with Dr. Maura Isles.  
I've seen the looks we've been getting.  
No judging, just envy.  
Then who wouldn't be, I'm walking hand in hand with Dr. Maura Isles.  
How could I have not seen it, I'm a frigging detective?_

A pull on Jane's hand pulls here from her internal chatter. "How about we get a coffee? We could sit out here." Maura suggested pointing to the tables set up on the street.

"Sure."

"Why don't you take a seat and I'll get the drinks."

_This is going really well.  
I feel so at ease, I'd thought I'd be more self-conscious with being with another woman.  
It's just right though, with Maura.  
I'm even open to PDA's.  
I really am changing._

Just as that thought crossed Jane's mind Maura returns with their drinks. They sit in silence for a few minutes before Jane asks, "Do you think I've changed, Maura?"

"How do you mean Jane?"

"I just feel different I suppose." Jane pauses thinking how to word her thoughts, "I just feel at ease with this, with us. I have never felt like this, it's strange, good strange," she hastens to add seeing the worry on Maura's face. "I've never liked change, but this change makes me feel so good."

"Sounds like you been doing a lot of thinking, but I'm glad you're feeling at ease with us. I do too, it just feels natural." The couple smile at each other and carry on with their coffee.


	28. Chapter 28

Rizzoli & Isles - 73

"I hope this mud.."

"Clay Jane!"

"...sorry clay bath doesn't end like the last one." _She did look amazing with that baby though.  
I bet she'd be a great mother.  
Eeck too much Janie._

"Yes, that wasn't really that relaxing, but Jane I can hear you mind from here, what's bothering you?"

_Oh I was just thinking what a great mum you'd make, yeah don't think we're quite there yet._ "I was just thinking about the future."

"And what about the future?"

_You always you, oh yeah I can say that now can't I, Happy dance._ "Well, you mainly." Jane's voice is hushed and soft as she smiles at Maura. "Also I've been thinking about the changes that have been going on recently."

"Yeah there have been a few developments. Are you ok with it all?"

_Am I ok with it?  
I think so, I mean I'm happier than I can ever remember being.  
I'm picturing a future for the first time.  
It's a future that now includes Maura, that doesn't have me as a lonely spinster or killed on the job.  
_"Actually I'm more that ok with it."

_**A/N Just trying to catch up, my sis came Friday so I actually got a night out with hubby and no kids. Can't remember last time that happened so not apologising for falling behind.**_

_**Rach xxx**_


	29. Chapter 29

Rizzoli & Isles - 72

While cuddling in bed Jane asks, "Well, day four, what do you fancy doing today Maur?"

"I though we might go see the whales?"

"That would be amazing but with all the other tourists that would be on the catamaran it wouldn't be that romantic and I'm feeling romantic."

"Well I know you're no keen on using my money and family status but..."

"But what Maura, spit it out."_ She is right I hate that I can't always afford to give her what she deserves.  
Though if we are gonna make this work, it's gonna be an issue.  
My finances are something I'm going to look at when we get back.  
God I'm gonna be busy, so much change._

"...well, we could always see about hiring a private boat and then maybe make it more than just the whales?"

"It does sound nice but I don't wanna take advantage."_ I know I sound petty it's just...argh I don't know.  
Yes you do know.  
She doesn't see it like that.  
I know.  
Maybe a compromise. Yeah that might work._

Jane's been quiet for a few minutes, Maura is about to try and convince her when Jane says, "Fine, but I'm organising dinner."

Maura just nods happy to have Jane accept her money for once.

_Romance is the order of the day Rizzoli.  
Secluded beach.  
Soft music.  
Nice food.  
All beneath the stars with the most wonderful woman I know.  
Yeah Jane romance her, Happy dance._

Both go off to put their plans into action.


	30. Chapter 30

Rizzoli & Isles - 71

Sitting out on the balcony enjoying the wonderful coffee and wonderful company:_ Last night was amazing.  
Seeing the whales that close was amazing.  
Seeing Maura's excitement was something else entirely. Even more wonderous than whales and even more beautiful than I don't know, I don't have words for it._

"Are you thinking about the whales again Jane?"

_What does she mean again, oh yeah I couldn't shut up about them after the trip._ "Sort of but it sort of drifted more onto you." Jane says shyly.

"Yeah this time alone together has been amazing, it's a shame that we have to go back tomorrow."

"I know what you mean." Jane pauses to think how to explain what she's feeling. "It's shown me what I didn't know I'd been missing, and that's not just our relationship."

"What do you mean, Jane?"

"I've been so wrapped up, hiding away in my work, that I've forgotten there's a life out there. I mean I always wanted to be a cop, that was always a given in my life, but it's not everything. I always wanted to travel."

"Anywhere in particular?"

"I really liked the idea of going to Italy, for the heritage, you know." Thinking some more before she continues, "Plus I know we see my family everyday but it always seems so intertwined with work... I don't know. I've also been thinking about the consequences."

Worry crosses Maura's face, "About us?" she asked.

"Sort of but not how you think." Jane smiles to re-assure her, "it's more the consequences of the job and how it will affect others than just me. I know Ma has always worried but all the thinking I've been allowing myself to do recently and us had made me look at things differently."

"I know how dangerous your job is Jane, I've seen it often enough, I'd never ask you to change though, it's who you are."

"And that's something else I love about you Maur, but it isn't who I am," Maura looks confused, her job has always been such a big part of who Jane is but as Jane goes onto explain things become very clear for the ME. "It's a part of who I am, it's not all of me but it had over taken a lot of the other things to the extent that it ruled me. Things are gonna change there is a rebellion from the real Jane afoot and a lot of that is thanks to you Maura. So I thank you from the bottom of my heart, I love you."

_Shit I've made her cry!  
Damn I'm crying, when did that happen? Happy dance, where are you?  
Now she's smiling, I'm confused.  
Oh now it's that huge Maura grin, all teeth and dimples.  
God I love her.  
Oh there you are Happy dance._

"That was beautiful Jane but don't change for me."

"I'm not, I promise. I'm just re-evaluating a few other things beside us, for me, well and for us."

"I love you too Jane."

**_A/N Hi, thanks to all for reading, reviewing, and supporting this.  
I have no ides where this chapter came from it just flowed and sometimes it's best to just let it happen but I hope you enjoy it._**


	31. Chapter 31

Rizzoli & Isles - 70

The journey back to Maura's was filled with chatter of the past week and their time together. Both agreed that it was what they had needed and would both welcome more time like that.

As expected Angela was waiting for the pair when they got back ready to give them the third degree.

"Ma, we're both a little tired from the drive back, especially Maur as she insisted on driving. Why don't you go back to the guest house and I'll come over in a few minutes." Jane smiled. The notion of her daughter willing to talk to her appeased Angela for the time being.

Once she had left Maura turned to Jane, "Is everything ok?"

"Yeah it's fine Maura but I do feel I owe Ma a mother daughter talk with some of the things I've realised over the past few weeks." Going into the kitchen to get drinks for the two of them, "First of though I need a drink and a few minutes to prepare."

Maura laughed as the pair curled up on the sofa, a peaceful silence taking over them: _How the hell am I gonna tell Ma all I want?  
She's bound to interrupt and question every little thing, she can't help it.  
Better that than the lack of care Maura had with her mother, though that is getting better.  
As I'm gonna be around even more if I have my way I'll get Constance to give even more.  
The big thing is apologising for the worry I've put Ma through.  
I could tell her my self discoveries, or some of them anyway.  
She'll probably have some advice, might even be worth listening to.  
Maybe talk about moving in with Maur, Happy dance, see what she thinks.  
Don't assume Rizzoli, hadn't you better talk to Maura first!_

Breaking the silence, "I know we both said this week went well and we enjoyed it, it's made me think..." Jane considers the best way to go about asking, "I really don't want to waste any more time than we have already, so I was wondering what you thought about moving in together?"

"I think that is an excellent idea." With that Maura leans across to kiss Jane, "But right now hadn't you better go have your chat with Angela before she comes looking for you."

"Yeah," Jane laughs, "I'll be back soon." She bends down to kiss Maura before heading out to the guest house.


	32. Chapter 32

Rizzoli & Isles - 69

While out walking Jo Friday:_It was great talking to Ma last night.  
That's twice now she's surprised you.  
Maybe it's not her, I'm the one re-thinking things.  
The big thing is that I enjoyed it and we didn't argue.  
She was supportive as well. I can't believe how excited she was about Maura & Me moving in together.  
She was a little shocked about the idea of traveling but was encouraging once I said about loosing track of myself in the job.  
I think if I'm gonna change, for me, it's got to be complete but encompass what I love.  
So I suppose running my ideas past Maura would be first, I hope she doesn't think I'm taking advantage, come on Jane this is Maura you're talking about.  
I'm sure she's probably got a financial advisor I can talk to.  
I know she's busy with work and her charity stuff but I hope she'll be interested in my idea and want to be involved too.  
Before I start looking into starting a new project we could take the time out to travel. Then again maybe it would be worth saving that until I get this business idea sorted.  
Yeah business then pleasure.  
Well a little pleasure first,_ "Come on Jo lets go see Maura and Bass." _Happy dance!_

**_A/N Sorry no story yesterday the kids have decided to share their germs. Things may be sporadic over Xmas but will get there xxx_**


	33. Chapter 33

Rizzoli & Isles - 68

"So Jane, what did you want to talk about?"

"Us, the future and what it may hold."

"You know we can't predict the future, Jane"

"I know but there are things we can do to influence it. What I'm about to say may sound crazy but just hear me out please."

"I promise."

"Well firstly I was wondering if you had a financial advisor I could talk to, I have some saving and there is also my apartment to sort out and I figured it was time to maybe look into how I can make the most of it."

"Yes of course, I will contact him tomorrow."

"Thanks Maur, but as I said that was the first thing, you know I've been thinking a lot of things through recently and part of that has made me more aware of how my actions and choice effect those around me. Especially how they would effect you, us..." and in a quieter voice, "...and maybe our family." at this Jane chances a glance at Maura who is sat there a serence smile on her face, "You can say something now if you want."

"I can't deny that I have thought a bout a full future with you too Jane."

"And what did you see in that future? Or maybe I should ask who?"

"If you're trying to ask do I see us having children then the answer is yes."

Jane lets out a breath she didn't realise she had been holding, "That good coz I do too but that idea has lead me to more thinking and also had me talking to Ma."

"It must be serious then if you asked Angela's opinion." Maura giggled.

Jane couldn't help but laugh but she soon turns serious, "Anyway we both know how dangerous my job is plus how I tend to just be a magnet for it."

"What are you getting at Jane?"

"I couldn't put you and especially our kids through that. I had a brief experience of that with Casey, then I spoke with Ma, well listened to her infact. I know kids aren't an immediate thing but I hope they are not too far off from now so I'm gonna look into different career options."

"But Jane you love being a detective, it's what you've worked so hard for."

"Yes and I've done it and am the best I can be at it but like I said while we were away the job is only a part of me it is not all of me. I had other dreams that I've not started to consider and I think now is the time to look into that. I may still be in law enforcement in some way, I don't know yet. That's another reason I wanted to talk to your financial advisor and maybe do something on my own I was thinking maybe a recreation centre or something."

"Oh Jane, you know I would never ask you to change don't you?"

"I know Maura and I love you for that but this is something I want to do for me as well as for us and our family."

"You are amazing and I love you more each and every day Jane Rizzoli."

_Happy Dance_ "I know I've not thought this through completely yet, at the minute it's just like vague ideas but I was wondering if you'd want to be involved at all?"

"What did you have in mind?"

"Well I was thinking it might be good to offer kids medical advice without them feeling judged."

"That sounds workable, and of course for such a community based idea I'm sure the Isles Foundation would be willing to support such a project." Maura smiled.

"I'd never considered that, it's still just a jumble of ideas yet."

"But great ideas Jane, you'd be amazing, and could change so many lives."

Jane laughed, "I think you're getting ahead of yourself Maura."

"You could get Angela involved with cooking and I'm sure the BPD would get involved if it meant kids choosing a better path in life. This could really be something amazing Jane."

_She's so adorable when she gets excited, but I really need to stop her now before she gets too far ahead._ With that thought in mind Jane leaned over and kissed Maura into silence.


	34. Chapter 34

Rizzoli & Isles - 67

_Well things went well with the advisor, seems if things go well I will be quite comfortable.  
Maura got a bit over enthusiastic with my ideas.  
It does make me think that it may be possible sometime in the future.  
Though having spoken my ideas out loud, it does all seem rather scary.  
Maybe I should stick with what I know.  
I like being a cop.  
I'm good at being a cop.  
But what of those I love, who love me?  
I thought I had it all figured out, but now?  
I'm sure I want a future with Maura.  
I'm sure that future includes a family of our own.  
I'm sure I'll not want any harm to come to them.  
I'm sure I'd never want them to suffer, especially because of me.  
Would a change of career make any difference to that?  
Harm could still befall me or them.  
I may be able to lessen the possibility with a different career?  
This is gonna take a lot more thought._

With that Jane rises from the bench she has been sat on and heads back to work.

**_A/N First, thanks for all the support.  
Second I only own my imagination.  
Third a reminder this is a story about Jane's inner battles, thought processes and where they lead her (or me as the writer). At this time I am drawn towards the re-discovering of who she was before she became so work orientated and feel Maura is the one to help her on this journey.  
And last but by no means least, Happy Xmas xoxo_**

**_Rach_**


	35. Chapter 35

Rizzoli & Isles - 66

"Hey Vince, you wanna go get a coffee?"

"Sure Janie, is everything OK?"

"Yeah, I just wanted your input on something."

Sat in a quiet corner of the Division 1 café with their drinks, "So what can I help you with Janie?"

"When you were married, did you ever consider the job?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well this isn't the safest of careers, did you ever think about how it would effect your family?"

"It crossed my mind of course, especially when talk of kids came up but things never got that far. Oh course you know what happened to Shaun's family and the guilt he's carried that they died because of his job." he pauses for a minute before continuing, "what's got you asking?"

"Well it's just I've been considering a lot of things recently, not just Casey's offer. Having finally admitted my feeling for Maura I've realised my actions don't just effect me any more."

"They never have Janie, there have always been people who love you and worry about you." Korsak interrupts.

"I know but this is different. Plus I've also been thinking of the future and what I want, what I need." Jane takes a breath, "For a long time the job has been my all and I let it over take me but there were other things I wanted to do. Now though I know I want the whole family thing with Maura, not immediately but soon and the idea of what something happening to me would do to them, it's making me wonder is all."

"Every cop goes through this Janie, it's normal but you're a sensible girl, you'll work it out. Ultimately you are the one that has to make this decision but the best advice I can offer is talk to Maura and do what you feel is right for you."

"Thanks Vince, you've been a big help."

"Anytime Janie, and just know I'll support you whatever you do." with that Korsak gets up and gives Jane a one armed hug before leaving her sat with the remains of her coffee.

_**A/N Hope all that celebrate had a good Christmas.  
Not sure if next chap will be more talk or thought, will just have to wait and see.**_


	36. Chapter 36

Rizzoli & Isles - 65

_**A/N Christmas, New Year & Birthday out the way back to writing.  
Thanks to cjunited for this idea of Maura's thoughts for this**_** chapter.**

Sat in her office with the paper work complete, Maura's mind starts to wonder to some of the things Jane had mentioned on their return from their vacation:-

_I was so scared seeing her shoot herself, I felt numb.  
Would I have been able to cope if things had been worse?  
I know I would do anything for her, give up everything for her.  
Every time something happens I can't function properly until I know she's safe, until I have her back, until I can see her, hear her, touch her._

_The one time we seriously came close to loosing each other was the worst time of my life.  
Looking at it now I know my initial reaction was fear both of never knowing who my biological mother was and a worse fear of nearly loosing Jane and it being my fault. It had been my idea, it was my father, my fault she almost died again. Then that fear mutated and I almost lost her again because of that._

_Jane has shown me what family really means, she has shown me what love really means.  
Jane has given me that family, she has given me that love.  
Jane has given me a sense of belonging, a wholeness I never thought I'd find._

_Without Jane who would I be?  
Without Jane what would I be?  
Alone, cold, sad, lonely, empty, nothing._

_I love Jane.  
I love my life with Jane.  
I love who I am with Jane._

_I don't know how I would have coped with loosing her before we were lovers.  
I know I wouldn't cope with loosing her now we are lovers.  
It may be selfish but I can't lose her now._

Maura picks up her phone, sending a simple text, **I love you! xx**


	37. Chapter 37

Rizzoli & Isles - 64

_**A/N Crap start to the new year, sorry. Obviously not going to meet the deadline but I am planning on getting to 100. looking at keeping it as thought process as much as possible and although I will keep Jane as the main I may put a bit more of other people's in there as**_**_ well_****.**

Jane reaches for her phone seeing the text from Maura, **I love you xx**

_I love that we can say that now. Happy dance.  
Though it isn't like Maur to send something like that, too short!  
What if something's wrong?  
Have I done something wrong?  
Said something I shouldn't?  
When did I last tell her I love her?  
Maybe she thinks I've changed my mind?  
She must know I'm serious about us!  
You don't always think before you open your mouth Rizzoli!  
I'm sure I haven't said anything today.  
Maybe that's the problem?  
It's no use guessing, what to do though?  
Text?  
Call?  
Visit?  
Gesture?  
Mixture? Yeah that's the way to go, Rizzoli!  
Make a fuss of her!  
Show her you care!_

So Jane sends a quick reply, **Luv U 2 xoxo**  
"Hey Frost can you hold the fort I gotta pop out and do some stuff."

"Sure, some stuff, hey?" he teases raising an eyebrow to his partner.

"Get out of the gutter, I'll be back in a bit, call if you need." and with that Jane left the building.

_Flowers - check  
Clusters - check  
Tickets - check  
British strawberry's (can't hurt to show Bass some love too) - check_

Having set everything thing up for when Maura gets home Jane heads back to work. _I hope she likes this?_


	38. Chapter 38

Rizzoli & Isles - 63

Maura takes her time getting out of her car before going into the house, _I can't wait for Jane to move in completely.  
We can come home together.  
I used to love the quiet.  
Now I love the buzz that is Rizzoli family life.  
Even when it's just Jane & I the quiet still feels different.  
I wonder why she didn't want to come straight back tonight.  
We've left work together every day this week.  
I wonder if I've done something to upset her?  
Maybe she doesn't want to spend time with me anymore?  
What if she's changed her mind?  
Where is this coming from Maura, you don't guess?  
Calm down, get inside and relax then you can call_ _Jane._

_What is she waiting for?  
Is she ok?  
Maybe she's not feeling well.  
If she's not well she won't want to go out.  
I knew I shouldn't have done this, it's gonna be a total disaster.  
Maybe my text earlier wasn't enough and she really is having second thoughts.  
Though she did seem disappointed when I said I wouldn't be coming back with her.  
You're just panicking Rizzoli, everything will be fine.  
Oh here we go she's getting out, time to move, let's get this show on the_ _road_.


End file.
